Humbling

I've discovered something...

...this mothering thing is HARD stuff!!!


Taking care of this little baby 24/7 is much harder than anyone could have prepared me for. It's much harder than years and years of babysitting, a major in child development, and growing up as the oldest could have prepared me for.

Thank goodness it's also more rewarding than anyone told me, or I don't know what I'd do! Getting to cuddle this little baby and calling him mine is more rewarding than I imagined!
Our biggest challenge so far: this little man is reverse cycling, sleeping all day and partying all night. In fact, he takes it to extremes. During the day, feedings put him right to a deep, lethargic sleep. My mom calls it "baby drunk"...it's pretty funny! But at night, I feed him and he's suddenly full of energy, wide awake and ready to go! It's kind of frustrating.

He's also trying to learn how to fall asleep. Major life skill if you ask me! Our little Nathan is a very noisy sleeper. The hospital nurses call it "singing himself to sleep." As sleep deprived as we are, it's very hard to sleep next to. We've decided he's out of our room after we get back from Thanksgiving! Lots of times, the noises he makes at night wake him up. We swaddle him to keep his uncontrollable movements from overwhelming him. He loves it and he sleeps much better when he's all swaddled and cozied up in his sleepers. Even if I've spent an hour trying to get him to sleep, his angelic little, tiny face makes it all completely worth it.

I used to have awful dreams about having an ugly baby. I know, weird, but I blame the hormones. Hormones always make you think darker, right!? Anyway, because he came by c-section he's always had the most perfect, round little head and unsquished little face. It's beautiful! He has clear, pretty skin and has shed a lot of his "sea skin"...although we still have a ways to go! He hates lotion but loves baths, and makes the cutest little faces. I love his accidental little smiles. All my textbooks have said that he's practicing using the muscles that he'll later use to melt our hearts by breaking out huge grins.

I just love spending my days with our little Nathan Patrick. He's such a dream; he's a very happy baby and loves to stare at any black and white he can find, especially the huge black frame and black and white pictures above our couch. (I'm glad he approves of my decor!)
Nothing in my life is about me anymore. It's the weirdest change of mindset I've ever had. I first noticed it when I was on vacation with our family trying to ride a jetski and just not feeling safe for some reason. The next time I noticed it was when they were talking c-section in the delivery room and I was pretty much all for it, just because it was the only way to get my baby here safely. It's just weird! I don't mind it, though. I'm doing great emotionally (and physically), and I'm adjusting well...

...however, I felt really disappointed at the pediatrician's office this week when he told me Nathan had gained weight back up to his birth weight already.

He'll just be getting bigger from now on!! :o(