Bittersweet Freedom

I am enjoying my last month of bittersweet freedom, as of today.

I go back to school full-time April 19th, one month from today.

I couldn't mix my emotions more about this if I tried!

I keep having dreams where Mitch texts me when I'm in class saying, "Nathan just crawled!"

Or during Fall Semester (Nathan=10 months old), "Nathan just walked!"

I know it was part of a plan much bigger than us that Nathan came to our family when he did.
In a perfect world, I would've been graduated. But, being a mom is a more perfect job than anything I could go to school for, so I'm thrilled this is what I'm doing.

However, I also want to graduate. Like, really bad.

I've done 7 semesters of finals, papers, lectures, "online group discussions" (yuck). I can't imagine doing all of that for nothing. So much time, money, patience, frustration, and computer keyboard beatings have gone towards school so far.

Did I mention that going to school has never been fun? Or did you get that from the image of me beating my keyboard?

Anyway, I'm going to finish. Mitch has longer than me left so I want to get done as soon as I can so we have to balance and juggle our class schedules as short a time as possible.

Because i'm "off-track" I can only go at night or online. So, I have 3 night classes and 2 online classes. Heaven help me.
Because Mitch is "on-track" he'll go during the day and be home before my 5:15 class starts.

I'm gonna miss seeing this little face...
I know I won't be gone all the time. I'll still be able to breastfeed, which is a lot more than some people can do while going to school. I just love being home with him all day, helping him get used to life as something other than a newborn.

Because i'm going on my off semester, i'm still committed to my 2 on-track semesters. So, i'll be in school from April-July, September-December, and January-April. Phew! Yay for year-round school. Hopefully by then i'll be almost done.

I just hate putting my wants (of a degree) before his needs (of having mom home). It feels very unnatural and I feel very guilty. I'm trying to get over this, and i'm not trying to sound all "woe is me", but it just comes out sometimes!

You'd think i'd be excited for this degree, at least more excited than I am. I'm studying Child Development with a minor in Marriage and Family Studies. What could be more relevant?

For now I'm reading ahead as much as I can for my children's lit class (i've only gotten one book in the mail so far) and soaking up every moment with my little one.
(Oh, and taking lots of pictures...but he's an only child, so that should go without saying!)

I can't wait to be done with school! I can't wait to hang that diploma proudly!