22 and meditation

On Sept. 20th I turned 22. It was a pretty good day! I love birthdays, but I don't really know why. I just love the feeling that this one day of the year is YOURS and, mostly likely, no one else's in your family. We're always still waiting for grant money on my birthday so it's never been a big deal around our house, but we did set aside money to buy one special gift. I didn't have much on my list this year, which was convenient. (Turns out I'd much rather buy for Nathan than myself these days!)

The one thing I did have on my list was Modern Family season 2 on DVD. Some people don't agree with this show; I just think about it differently. I really don't consider it justification just so I feel okay about watching it; I really have thought about it this way ever since I started watching it. 

This show is about an extended family. It happens to be the most awarded comedy on tv right now! It's also a pretty clean one, and one that Mitch and I both like to watch (a rare find for two people with completely opposite tastes...). One of the members of the extended family is gay, and lives with his partner. They have an adopted little girl from Vietnam. I think this is the main reason that people judge this show. However, one of the first episodes I saw was when this extended family member, named Mitchell (although he's different in every way from MY Mitchell!), is having issues with his father. His dad ("Al Bundy" from Married with Children) is having issues with Mitchell's lifestyle. All in all, for me, this show is about what would happen to a family if a curve ball was thrown, like one of the children "coming out." How would I deal with this in my own family? Hopefully as well as this family does. They support the family member and still show them inclusion and love, but make it known in their own individual families that they don't agree with the idea. It matches my own set of beliefs, so I've always found this show somewhat familiar and inviting. 

**Disclaimer: this is in no way political. I have a set of personal and religious beliefs that I try to live by, and I am stating them on my own personal blog. I am not trying to discriminate against anyone who may have different beliefs, but recognize that this is a platform on which I am able to voice my own. **

  

Here are a few of my favorite Modern Family moments, both the Oscar promos from 2010 and 2011:

 

 

Also, I have been going to counseling for PTSD. It has been going better than I ever expected it could! I already feel like I'm over everything that happened (or didn't happen) the day Nathan was born, and the aftermath of everything, but we're working to make sure I didn't just suppress things that will inevitably come out later. I have been on medication but haven't built up enough in my system to see any effects. However, my counselor and I have discussed the possibility of not needing it, since I'm already feeling so much better on my own. It just feels great to be validated, ya know? I still need to journal everything as part of the process. I've put it off so far because I know it will take a lot out of me to do it, but I also know it needs to be done sometime soon, before I forget all the emotion that was involved.

Today in our session I learned relaxation and meditation techniques. Holy cow, that stuff is better than sleep! The goal is to practice this enough that, when the next baby is coming along, I don't feel completely as out of control with the pain like I did last time. Also, if another emergency c-section were to happen, I will have the tools I need to calm myself and focus on what needs my attention.

Well, that's it I guess! It's way past little man's bedtime; he stayed up late playing with a friend, so now I get to deal with that!