The Adventures of the Puke-Covered (Exhausted) Parents

Sorry, not many pictures with this post. Not that you'd want any. We're all puke-covered today anyway!

I have been vomited on three times today. Pooped on twice. Beat that. It's like I have a newborn again!

Nathan has had this weird bug that hasn't sent a fever spiking and hasn't affected his little mojo much, so his doctor said it "shouldn't be contagious."

Thanks, doc. Really comforting. Do you know I start school in 4 days? Do you know that Nathan was sick with bronchitis/lung infection at the beginning of LAST semester, and that the work I missed set me back about a month? 

Nope, didn't think so. Please be more helpful next time.

Ugh. I'm really about ready to switch doctors. Maybe when his insurance ends in November. But that's another story.

Our poor guy woke up on Tuesday at about 1:30 puking his guts out. All over EVERYTHING. It went THROUGH his bedsheet, matress protector (it said waterproof...guess not), his little mattress pad under that and onto his mattress. Gross. He's sitting up and spewing and holding his arms out for me to comfort him.

And because I remember being so sick and only wanting mom, and mom hugging me even when I was gross, I did it. Again and again. Thanks, mom, for teaching me how to show sympathy for a sick little one!

We threw him in the tub. He was very surprised and immediately splashed up a storm and "drank" from his little bath cup. What a great nighttime surprise!

Then he threw up again at 2 am. Then again at 2:30. We didn't know what to do, or what the flu looked like in a little one (aka, when it really got serious), so we headed to the ER. He has great insurance and we knew it wouldn't cost us a dime. What a blessing!

He was absolutely the only patient there, in his stained little hole-y onesie (the one night he wears a hobo onesie, of course!). Then he threw up all over triage. And the little hospital room they put us in. Poor little man. They sent us home with 4 doses of anti-nausea meds.

All that night he threw up, about every hour. My little Old Faithful. He and I slept (ha...slept.) on the couch in our whites (undies) with towels covering everything. I think we did a couple loads of laundry that night, and I think Nathan got 3 baths in 24 hours! Most of the vomiting didn't nail him too bad, but when it rained, it poured! (Haha gross wording. Sorry.)

The last time he threw up was Tuesday at 8 am. Then today we (Nathan and I) were at Walmart. 

Anyone in Rexburg right now knows not to head to Walmart. The aisles are lined with boxes and boxes of hanger packs and pillows and Redvines and socks and every other college "necessity." School starts Monday, so it is "Bring Your Parents to Walmart/the Grocery Store" weekend. We really wanted to avoid it. But, we couldn't. Mitch had a migraine so we left him home. I took Nathan so he could get some rest.

I took Nathan inside in his carseat, instead of leaving it in the car, because he was almost asleep. I should've left it in the car! When we were getting our cart and I hoisted his 28 lb (self+carseat) into the back of it, he spewed EVERYTHING he had just eaten. 

Let me paint a visual. You know you want help picturing this. He ate pureed ham, sweet potatoes, and pears for lunch. He sprayed thick, orange, fruity-smelling toxic waste all over, JUST as I hoisted him into the cart. Picture a sprinkler.

This really, really nice mom was right there and helped me mop up the floor till the cleaning guys got there. She said she had six kids and even offered to hold him. I told her no way, as EVERY inch of him and that carseat was caked with vomit, and neither one of us had any on it. At least one of us could escape clean!

Here's another visual. This one not as gross. I also promise this story's almost over!

They were handing out maps of the store as I walked in. Thousands of kids came back to school this weekend, all bombarding the one (small, dinky, pitiful) Walmart (not even a SUPER!) in Rexburg. And my kid throws up in front of the cart feeder thing, blocking the whole row of available carts with orange goop. NO one's getting a cart now, sorry! Better grow some muscles to carry the groceries mom and pop are buying ya!

Nathan got a sink bath in the Walmart bathroom. Every moment of that trip was disgusting. My mom also happened to call when I was cleaning him up. I missed her first call, in which case she would usually just text to call her later. I'm glad she went ahead and called again, because she helped me a bunch with all of her encouragement/"I've been there, you'll get through it!" advice!

He also had a massive case of the runs, well, THREE, in the last couple days. No "real" signs of dehydration yet, but his bedsheets have been changed about 8 times since Tuesday. Yay for clean linens. And removable bumper pad covers. And two whoozit friends so he can have his best friend to comfort his sick little self.

I called urgent care tonight, just to ask when I should consider taking him to see someone. Again, we know nothing. When is a kid too dehydrated? They told me he isn't yet. What are the signs? Apparently he has none of them, and as long as his diapers are wet, we should be okay. 

OHH, and amid all of it, his little man parts got very swollen and infected. He had a  "unique" circumcision and they had to "correct" it in the dr's office yesterday. Basically meaning they tortured my baby and I had to watch. It was awful, and I'm not even being dramatic! That's the last time I let a man in his mid-seventies with a shaky handshake circumcise my baby. Why aren't you retired?

For now, we're keeping our fingers crossed that his little self heals quickly. Also, if anyone needs laundry done, we are currently doing about 5 loads per day. I swear I could have five CHILDREN and not do this much laundry!