Wednesday, November 10, 2010


I've discovered something...

...this mothering thing is HARD stuff!!!

Taking care of this little baby 24/7 is much harder than anyone could have prepared me for. It's much harder than years and years of babysitting, a major in child development, and growing up as the oldest could have prepared me for.

Thank goodness it's also more rewarding than anyone told me, or I don't know what I'd do! Getting to cuddle this little baby and calling him mine is more rewarding than I imagined!
Our biggest challenge so far: this little man is reverse cycling, sleeping all day and partying all night. In fact, he takes it to extremes. During the day, feedings put him right to a deep, lethargic sleep. My mom calls it "baby drunk"'s pretty funny! But at night, I feed him and he's suddenly full of energy, wide awake and ready to go! It's kind of frustrating.

He's also trying to learn how to fall asleep. Major life skill if you ask me! Our little Nathan is a very noisy sleeper. The hospital nurses call it "singing himself to sleep." As sleep deprived as we are, it's very hard to sleep next to. We've decided he's out of our room after we get back from Thanksgiving! Lots of times, the noises he makes at night wake him up. We swaddle him to keep his uncontrollable movements from overwhelming him. He loves it and he sleeps much better when he's all swaddled and cozied up in his sleepers. Even if I've spent an hour trying to get him to sleep, his angelic little, tiny face makes it all completely worth it.

I used to have awful dreams about having an ugly baby. I know, weird, but I blame the hormones. Hormones always make you think darker, right!? Anyway, because he came by c-section he's always had the most perfect, round little head and unsquished little face. It's beautiful! He has clear, pretty skin and has shed a lot of his "sea skin"...although we still have a ways to go! He hates lotion but loves baths, and makes the cutest little faces. I love his accidental little smiles. All my textbooks have said that he's practicing using the muscles that he'll later use to melt our hearts by breaking out huge grins.

I just love spending my days with our little Nathan Patrick. He's such a dream; he's a very happy baby and loves to stare at any black and white he can find, especially the huge black frame and black and white pictures above our couch. (I'm glad he approves of my decor!)
Nothing in my life is about me anymore. It's the weirdest change of mindset I've ever had. I first noticed it when I was on vacation with our family trying to ride a jetski and just not feeling safe for some reason. The next time I noticed it was when they were talking c-section in the delivery room and I was pretty much all for it, just because it was the only way to get my baby here safely. It's just weird! I don't mind it, though. I'm doing great emotionally (and physically), and I'm adjusting well...

...however, I felt really disappointed at the pediatrician's office this week when he told me Nathan had gained weight back up to his birth weight already.

He'll just be getting bigger from now on!! :o(


  1. He's so beautiful,Alaina. Mothering is the hardest thing you'll ever do, but it's also definitely the best thing you'll ever do! There is so much growing and learning about yourself that happens as you give up your needs and wants for your child's. It's hard to explain, but I can tell you're already feeling it. Good luck getting his days and nights figured out, that's so hard to deal with when you're tired.

  2. Ahhhhhhh he's so stinkning cute!!!!!! It sounds like you are doing an AMAZING job. I hope you can get lots of sleep though:)

  3. I love love love reading your blog. Seriously, you put how I feel in to words PERFECTLY. Your little Nathan is adorable and I can't believe that he is already back up to his birth weight crazy boy!!

    I feel a little spoiled right now with my little Jasper being in the NICU. I have time to recover on my own without having to worry about taking care of him at the same time. I am going to have a hard time next time when I have to do both at the same time lol! And when he does get to come home with me ;)

    Keep your chin up. I hear the motherly insticts kick in REALLY fast and you will be multitasking and getting tons done.

    Can't wait to see more pictures!!

  4. Alaina you are doing perfect and thinking perfectly. You are and will be the best mom to little Nathan (who wont stay little for very long). Believe me I know!! Just think of all the Milestones that are ahead of you. Take it all in. He is gorgeous!!

  5. He's beautiful. You have such a mother's heart that soon you won't be able to remember life before baby! My mother always said, "It takes six months to integrate a new baby into a family." I would repeat that to myself after every baby. That way when their sleep was still messed up or the day was crazy and terrible because it was harder and different, I felt like we were just in the adjusting process. I knew doing everything for the baby was going to be normal soon. You're doing great! Full nights of sleep do happen eventually!

  6. Ava had her days and nights mixed up too. She'd sleep most of the day and want to play at night. It's so hard, but I promise it will get better. People tried to give me suggestions, but nothing really worked except giving it time that and praying and saying please let her sleep because I can't take care of her much longer if I can't get some too. At about 2 months she started sleeping in 6 hour stretches, which I guess is amazing compared to some babies. Now she sleeps from 8:30 PM until 7:30 AM. It will get better and you'll be amazed how well you learn to function with little sleep. I know what you mean about getting big Ava's already doubled her birth weight and she's only 5 months old.

  7. Alaina,

    I love your honesty in your blog! It's very inspiring and I feel like if anything can help me prepare for the future it's reading your cute blog! :)

  8. It's so true that nothing can really prepare you for how hard it is. I remember thinking (like you) that I was well prepared with my degree and my life experience and everything... but nope. Hope your post-partum is going well. I cried about five times every day for the first couple of weeks... both super sad and super happy crying... it was weird. Anyway, thanks for sharing your story! My experience was similar, but luckily we were able to get her heart rate back up and I didn't have to have a cesarean. Love you, Alaina! And HE'S So Beautiful!

  9. Congratulations!!!!!!! Oh, he's just perfect! And you were made to be his momma. What a great combo. :) Best of luck with all the adjusting - be patient with yourself!!!! Everything gets easier with time.

  10. Oh he's so beautiful! Alaina you're amazing :) I wish I could give you advice or something like everyone else, but I don't know! I'm just excited to be learning from your experiences. Congrats! Your little family is gorgeous. Also, I have had dreams about having an ugly baby and I'm not even pregnant!

  11. Oh Alaina, he is just beautiful. It brings back memories reading about your experiences - everything just flies by in your life from now on, so it's great you'll have this blog to look back on. Enjoy it all, even the difficult times. I know you are a fabulous mom!

  12. Oh it is hard, isn't it. So amazing though too :) Don't worry, he'll get that sleep thing figured out too...definitely by the end of the first 13/14 months or so, I promise ;)

    ps-So glad to hear you love the blanket so much! Hope the blessing one ran smoothly for you!

  13. Awww you're making me want to have another baby! He's so cute! Sister Bagley visited me to bring dinner when I had Benjamin and told me about the book "On Becoming Babywise" LOVED IT! Ben had colic so it didn't work as well with him but with Logan he was sleeping through the night by 8 weeks. Check it out if you haven't already, and good luck! I remember crying one day when Ben was a baby when Will got home from work because the only thing I had gotten done was throwing 1 load of laundry in. Enjoy the moments and when you get frustrated from exhausion just remember "This too shall pass"


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